Thursday, December 16, 2010

Finding out who you really are in life

Throughout my life I've always felt like I knew who I was. A person who loved life with a smile on his face, never looking back. As life rolls along we are presented with obstacles. And I truly believe that each obstacle we are presented with, is a test. A test that we can either fail, or pass with flying colors.

However, what's most important is that we don't ignore the test or act like it doesn't exist. There are no notes or study guides, nobody to tell us how to pass, and no ways of cheating. This test by far, is the biggest test you will ever take.

Bigger then your high school final, bigger then your college exams, or bigger than the presentation you must present at work for your big promotion. The test I'm talking about ladies and gentleman, is life.

Life is a constant battle, a constant struggle. Every person at some point, must find out who they really are and who they really want to be in life. Right now I'm dealing with this very test. I don't know who I really am. In fact, I feel like there is a hole inside of me that everyone can see through.

This is not a bad thing. Like I said before, it's life. However, to pass my test I feel like I must search myself and see if I can fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle. I still have a lot of growing to do and I'm still confused about where I'm going, but I do know where I want to end up.

I want to continue being that person who always goes through life with a smile and no matter what happens, I will always see the goodness in people rather then the bad. Because the reality is, I am truly blessed and I have all of you to thank for it. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Matthew Powell ("The CP Optimist")

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Guardian Angel

Over this past month I’ve done a lot of thinking. I thought about where my life was going, if I was happy with myself, and wondering if I was moving in the right direction.
At first, I was very discontent. It seemed like everything was going wrong. My muscles were sore, my writing was far from good, and the girl who I thought was “the one” didn’t share the same feelings as I did.
For those who knew me, everything was on the up-and-up. I was still optimistic, I carried a smile on my face, and everything seemed to be flowing with ease. However, deep in the depths of my soul, I was screaming for someone to save me and it seemed like nobody was listening, or so I thought.
Somebody was listening, although I’m not sure if I realized it at first. Lizz Raffa has only been my friend for a short amount of time, but I feel comfortable telling her anything. She’s the kind of person who tells it how it is and she will drop anything, just to help a friend in need.
If you need someone to put a smile on your face, you go to Lizz. Even if you’re only with her for five minutes she somehow makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. She is the one person who’s been there for me in good times and in bad.
When the girl who I cared for rejected me, Lizz was there to pick up the pieces and assure me that the right person is out there. She made me realize that when I finally do find that right person it will be the greatest feeling in the world. Who knows? Maybe she is closer to me then I think.
She taught me to open my eyes and appreciate what I have right in front of me. She gave me the high I needed to keep pushing and when I’m falling I know I could count on her to catch me.
Most importantly, when I’m with Lizz my CP doesn’t exist. Even if it’s just for a few seconds, I’m pain free. You see, Lizz doesn’t see a guy with a hurt leg. Lizz sees me for who I really am, a good friend.
I don’t know how I will ever repay her but I do know this. Lizz Raffa was the friend who saved me in every way possible when I was crying for help. I know she will always be there for me and I will always be there for her. She is a friend who I care about deeply, my guardian angel.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Finding your Shooting Star

In the 1995 film "Jack" actor Robin Williams plays Jack Powell. A 10 year old boy who ages three times faster than the average person. He has the look of a man in his mid thirties, but has the spark and innocence of a little boy.

Throughout his whole life Jack has been home schooled by his teacher and best friend Mr. Woodruff who is played by actor Bill Cosby. Mr. Woodruff recommends to Jack's parents that they should allow him to experience a regular class room. At first, his parents were worried. They weren't worried about Jack accepting the world, they were worried about the world accepting Jack.

On his first day, he faces a lot of ridicule from the other kids. They call him the giant, a freak, and accuse him of not really being ten years old. Even when Jack receives negative comments he never loses his strive to be treated like everyone else.

One day Jack meets his classmate Louis who needs a favor. He needs Jack to pretend to be the school principal and convince his mother that Louis is not acting out in school. Jack agrees to do it and succeeds beyond all measure. From then on, Jack and Louis become best friends. Their friendship allowed the other students to realize that jack is a cool kid.

As the film progresses, so does Jack's disease. He becomes so ill that he eventually goes back to being home schooled. Jack enters a dark moment in his life. Simple tasks are hard for him, he doesn't want to learn anymore, and you get the feeling he's lost his desire to live. His friends have become concerned. They go to his house every day asking if Jack could come out and play. Jack doesn't want to see anyone, the only person he sees is his teacher Mr. Woodruff. One day Mr. Woodruff decides to leave. Jack tells him  "he can't quit."

Mr. Woodruff says he is not quitting, but he considers himself losing a student. He asks Jack if he ever saw a shooting star. He tells Jack it's amazing, some people don't even get to see one, it's so incredible the world just stops and watches, and you were my shooting star. Jack responds by telling Mr. Woodruff "I just want to be a regular star." Mr. Woodruff tells Jack, "you'll never be regular, you're spectacular."

Jack realizes Mr. Woodruff is right and returns to school to be with his friends. When Jack walks in, the classroom roared with joy, and at that very moment Louis was making an oral presentation on what he wanted to be when he grew up. I want to be like the giant, the big guy, my best friend, Jack.

 This story is powerful not just if you have an illness, but in all aspects of life. When you hit a rough patch no matter what that may be, remember,
 everyone has something in them that allows them to be a shooting star. It could be as simple as greeting someone who is having a bad day. Never allow yourself to settle for being regular. Never let anyone ridicule you for who you really are. Also, try not to be too upset with the person who is ridiculing you. Because they have taken the time to sop and watch.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Life-Long Lessons

Life is always a mystery, you never know what to expect. For me, my life was written since I was born. I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and the doctors said there was a great possibility that I wouldn't make it through the night. When I was two years old the same doctors said i would probably never read, write, or go to regular school.

However, I want you to go back to the first two sentences. Read them once, read them twice, and then read them one final time. No offense to any doctors who are reading this, but these mistakes, our mistakes I'm happy you made. Last week in my feature writing class I had the opportunity to reflect on my life.

Our assignment was to make a list of life-long lessons that we've learned, and I would like to share my list with you.

1. Sometimes, it's good to be "the slow guy" in a world that moves way too fast."
2. Scars from surgery are caused by everything, except what they are actually caused from.
3. Tremors in my hands give me the perfect excuse to grow a cool beard.
4. I will be single all my life before giving up the nickname "the nice guy."
5. Chicks dig the guy with the hurt leg.
6. Going single to your prom is not a bad thing. It just means you have about 200 dates to choose from once you get there.
7. You can never smile too much. In fact, smiling can be the perfect medicine.
8. You can never have too many friends.
9. More often then not, you find those friends in the most unlikely places.
10. It's ok if I never fully learned how to ride a bike. Four wheels are better then two.
11. You can never learn too much.
12. Once I've learned everything that's when I'll know I'm dead. And even then, there is still more I can learn.
13. Refer to number 7.
14. Whether you like someone or not, they've been brought into your world, so try to make them feel noticed.
15.It's fun being nice to people who love you, but it's even better being nice to those who do not like you.

The list is not finished. It could never be finished. But I wanted to share with you what I had so far. I think the moral of this story is that even when you think you know what to expect in your life, always expect the unexpected. Now I would like you to share with me, your list. E-mail or facebook me some life-long lessons you've learned. Remember, life's a hell of journey, so make it a good one.

E-mail: cpawareness1@live.com
facebook: facebook.com/mattpowell

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Keeping the Record Straight

When I first created "The CP Optimist," I said I would always be open to any Comments or questions anyone might have. Well, last week, I received a couple questions and comments that I feel obligated to address.

First, the person (whose name shall remain anonymous due to privacy ) said, "It's kind of self centered to dedicate an entire weekly article to yourself and your illness. It's like you're fishing for sympathy." If the columns have seemed self-centered I apologize.

They're not meant to be just about me, although they are about my experiences with CP.  I write about my experiences so hopefully, others can relate and gain a sense of optimism and hope that they are never alone.

Second, I think I could speak on behalf of all CP patients or anyone who suffers from a disease or disability by saying; we never "fish" for sympathy. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Most people on God's green earth never want sympathy, especially those who suffer from an illness. Why should we? We are just like everyone else it's just that sometimes, we have an extra hurdle to jump over.

Finally, the person had one more question. "Why do you need attention for your CP? You post statuses that say things like how much pain you're in. Why? That's very personal. Also, don't you feel as though you are ripping off Michael J. Fox and his terminology (optimist)?

This is a great question. In fact, I think it's THE question. I mean the whole reason why I even write these columns is to gain attention for Cerebral Palsy and to hopefully, help other people. As far as mentioning pain, I think you are referring to my column titled, "A true Optimist." In this column if you remember, I mentioned how I was feeling down about myself. I did this to show everyone that every person is human. If you have a bad day that's natural, but what's important is to keep going.

Going back to the question on why attention is needed for CP leads right into the heart of this column. I wonder, if anyone is familiar with the name James Jones. If not, you're about to be. James Jones is a man, who was just arrested in Orlando, Florida for defending his 13 year old daughter for being bullied on a school bus because of her Cerebral Palsy.

After numerous times of his daughter being laughed at, and receiving open condoms thrown in her hair, Mr. Jones couldn't handle his daughter's abuse anymore. He boarded the bus, threatening to kill the boys who were bullying her. Mr. Jones was arrested for disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function, but was later released from jail.

I really wish I had the opportunity to speak to Mr. Jones and his daughter. I would tell them, almost everyone who has CP or knows someone with the disability, understands the pain you've experienced. What's important is that we stick together and try to educate these types of bullies for their ignorance and lack of concern.

We've been presented with a challenge, a purpose; this can't be just a coincidence. We would probably share stories and experiences. I would show him all the columns I've written and maybe, he would be willing to give me tips on how I could make them even better.

Some will say Mr. Jones was wrong for how he acted on the bus. However, just like how an optimist is human and experiences pain sometimes, Mr. Jones is also human for how he reacted on the bus. This situation is one of many reasons why attention is needed for Cerebral Palsy.

In response to your question about stealing the term optimist from Michael J. Fox, all I could do is smile. I think if others weren't using the term Michael would feel that all of his work was for nothing. Believe it or not Michael is not the only optimist on this earth.

Mike is one of many people who have inspired me to write. I hope one day I get the chance to meet him. After all, my motto's always been that anything is possible.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Unlikely Friend

Sometimes, the person you don't like the most can become a cherished friend in the most unlikely place. I really did not like Bob Zielinski.

It was the summer of 1995. I was 4 years old without a care in the world, ready to take my first big step into kindergarten.

Hours before my first class I met Bob who introduced himself as my new physical therapist, who would work with me every morning for an hour. Being a little kid and not caring who he was, I ignored him and was more concerned about missing snack time. When 8 am came around the next day, Bob was true to his word and called me out of class. He took me into the Special Ed Department and started showing me different exercises.

At that hour, all I could think about was my bed. I remember thinking to myself why is this guy who I don't even know, putting me through all of this torture? At this point, I was thinking of how I could make this guy's life a living hell.

From then on, the anti-version of myself exploded every morning. I would run away from Bob and make him chase me all over the building thinking; this guy will eventually give up. He would find me in the bathrooms, in the gym, hiding under a desk, and anywhere else I could hide. If the doors of the school weren't locked  I would of hid outside.

No matter how long it took Bob would always find me and take me back into that dreaded room. But I wouldn't stop there. One morning Bob showed me an exercise where I had to stand on one foot to improve my balance. Every time he would show me I would just stand there and watch, refusing to give up my pride. I can still remember him telling me the words "I'm only here to help you." Bob continued to show up each day and I continued my daily routine of being a wise guy.  One morning Bob begged me to at least give it a try.

Seeing how persistent this man was, I eventually decided to give him a shot. I went to that room with a positive attitude and was ready to put in some hard work. Day after day I tried standing on one foot to improve my balance and each day I would only last about 2 seconds before crashing to the ground. The funny thing was, it didn't feel like therapy. While we were exercising Bob and I chatted about our favorite movies, restaurants, and how school was going. It put my mind at ease and allowed me to relax while I was doing my therapy.

One morning in particular changed the course of our relationship forever. I decided to conform and go right to the Special Ed Department. Again, I stood on one foot and would fall over within 2 seconds. I felt like I was never going to get past those 2 measly seconds. But then, Bob told me "I can do anything I set my mind to." That morning I was able to stand on one foot for 30 seconds before falling. We laughed, cheered and were throwing each other high fives. I think at that very moment Bob and I became friends for life.


Our therapy sessions would go by so fast that I was wishing we had more time together. Bob's been with me throughout my entire school career, almost like he was going to school for a second time. I remember seeing Bob so much even the faculty had mistaken him once for my dad.

He's seen me at my worst when I used to walk on my toes, with a hunched back, and a hand that was clenched so tight that i could barely open it. He's seen me through two surgeries and helped to overcome many physical obstacles I've dealt with throughout my life.

Above all, Bob's been the one true friend who in the beginning, I never wanted to see. In fact, I just did the math and realized he's been with me for about a third of my life. Perhaps the next time i go to therapy I'll bring him a cake.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A True Optimist

As most of you already know I call myself "The CP Optimist."Dictionary.com defines an optimist as "the tendency to see and expect the best in all things." Even though optimism is my nature it does not mean that I never get doses of harsh realities.

You see, to be perfectly honest, I have been disappointed in myself during the past few days. I've had sharp pain in my legs, troubles sleeping, and yes, even depressing tendencies. I felt like I needed to clear my head and possibly take the time to analyze who I really am as a person.

I felt all alone and I felt like such a hypocrite for feeling this way. The more and more I thought about it, the worse and worse I felt. It was like trying to climb an impossible mountain, fearing that I would never reach the top.

I knew deep inside that their was only one person who could help me get there. And today that finally happened. As I was walking through the LCCC campus I passed my journalism teacher Ed Ackerman.

Ed is one of those teachers who really cares about his students. If you need somebody to talk to, you talk to Ed. Mr. Ackerman also rights a column about optimism and being the person who he is, he immediately sensed that something was bothering me.

I told him about everything I mentioned above, and how I wasn't sure how to shake what I was feeling.  Ed smiled and told me "I am not superman. Everyone has a bad day, including a CP Optimist." We told each other we were better people for knowing one another, and shared a quick hug. After I left, I felt refreshed and renewed.  It made me realize that I need all of my friends in my life to help keep my optimism going.

I really feel obligated to thank each and every one of you for having so much faith in my columns. Without you,  this blog would not exist. After all, we are all in this together and together, we make this work. Last but not least, let me thank the man who helped me reach the top of the mountain. The man who is my teacher, my friend, and a true optimst, Ed Ackerman.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Man who looked Beyond the Mask

It seems like yesterday. In fact, sometimes I forget this time in my life happened almost 7 years ago.  I was 13 years old, in 7th grade, and attending St. Mary's  school in Avoca, Pa. St. Mary's was one of those small town schools that would be lucky to have 200 kids in the whole building.

It was one of those schools where everybody knew everybody and it was a place where you actually felt like you were home.  In 7th grade I joined the Jr Varsity basketball team. Although my parents supported me in this decision they were also a little concerned that I would get discouraged because I may receive a lack of playing time.

However, I decided to show up to practice with an open mind and if anything, have a good time with my friends. When the day finally came for my first practice I was both nervous and excited. I was nervous because I didn't want the coach to assume I couldn't play just because of my Cerebral Palsy.

When the coach walked in, he had a calm and cool expression on. He looked us all in the eye and said the words "who is ready to have some fun."  It was at this point I realized that this was not an ordinary coach.  He introduced himself as coach Joe Blazosek a man who was willing to teach us the rules of the game and have fun while we were learning them.

Coach B never looked at anyone as if they were inferior and he always made every player feel like they were a true part of the team. I was no different.  When coach looked at me he never saw me as a burden.  He always treated me as one of the guys and pushed me through the pain of my disability.

When my muscles hurt during practice Coach B would push them to limits even I didn't know possible.  When I wanted to give up, Coach B always made me feel like I was more then just a kid with a disability.  He would remind me that I was part of a team who cared for one another and would always be there to help me through good times and bad. During a game it wouldn't matter if we were down by 10 points, or up by 50, he would still put me in the game for at least one full quarter.

You see, to him, basketball wasn't just about winning and losing. It was about building character, having fun, and learning how to care for the person along side of you. This man whom I'm speaking of is one of many people throughout my life who showed me that I have potential beyond the so-called "limits" my CP sets.

One game in particular he proved to me forever that this was the case.  It was the final game of the season and it so happened to be the last game St Mary's School would ever have. When my dad dropped me off at the gym he told me to"do my best and to work hard."  Coach immediately smiled at my dad and told him that "I always do."

Normally right before a big game the team would get pumped by listening to some Rock 107.  As we were jamming out coach called me off to the side and told me that he was going to put me in for the entire game. At first, I was reluctant.  I didn't want to be the reason why we lost the final game as the St. Mary's Mariners.

Coach smiled and told me that winning is not what's important.  What is important is that you go out and give it your all.  I ended up scoring 6 points and getting 2 rebounds that night.  That would also be the night where I would receive the only points I accumulated for the entire season.

I still don't remember if we won or lost but I do remember what's important.  I remember the man who taught me how to hold my head up high, to never give up, and to always strive to reach my fullest potential. Above all, I will always remember the man who looked beyond the mask, Coach Joe Blazosek.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Smiling can be the perfect Medicine

One night when I was at my friend Ciera's birthday party she told me that she never sees me without a smile on my face. In a column titled "Setting everything Straight' my Journalism professor Ed Ackerman stated that "I was the one person who smiled more then he did."  When you have Cerebral Palsy your appearance is everything.

When I use the word appearance I am not talking about a person's physical appearance such as their hair, face, teeth, or what have you. I am talking about a person's mental appearance, such as whether they feel happy or depressed.

According to Dictionary.com a smile is defined as "a pleasant or agreeable appearance, look, or aspect."  Often enough, physical pain dealing with CP can be obtained by a person's psychological attitude.  I am saying this based on personal experience.

Believe it or not even a "CP Optimist" can have a depressing moment in their life.  When I used to wake up depressed I noticed that the pain in my legs and hands would sharply increase and the  tremors in my body would be almost unbearable.  I also noticed that people would look at me differently.

They felt so sorry for me and would often deflect.  And lets be honest with one another, nobody wants to be around someone who is depressed.  However, once I changed my attitude I noticed that my symptoms and my relationships had sharply changed.  My symptoms improved, the pain was bearable, and suddenly people wanted to be around me.

As you all know by now I call myself  "The CP Optimist."  however, being an optimist is not a one person job.  It all has to do with how you treat yourself and who the friends are that you surround yourself with.  That is why I would like to thank all of my friends who read my column old and new. My optimism comes from all of you.  Hopefully when you all get to read these columns it allows you to not make the same mistakes I did in life.

So when you are in that depressed state try to remember this column.  Because most of the time, a simple smile can be the perfect medicine you need.

Friday, September 3, 2010

A Blessing in Disguise

One night I was talking to my good friend John Phistner, who is not only a good friend but who is also my partner in "Living with Cerebral Palsy and Fighting the Incurable."  He told me that "I am lucky to have so many blessings in my life."  At first, I didn't think much of it.

However, one night while I was watching an interview with actor and activist Michael J. Fox who made a similar statement.  Michael was asked what his disease had taught him in life.  He said (and I am paraphrasing) that his Parkinson's disease had taught him patience and it has allowed him to appreciate things that really matter in life like family, friends, and other people.  He continued by saying that he would not wish the disease on anyone; but in a way this disease has been a blessing.

After watching this on TV I started to think about what John had originally said to me.  Maybe it was something that I should actually take the time to analyze.  So I did.  First, I knew I had to look up the definition of what a "blessing" actually is.

According to Webster's Dictionary a blessing is "a means of happiness; that which promotes prosperity and welfare; a beneficent gift."  Once I read that definition I thought about what Michael had said about his disease.  It was then that I realized that living with Cerebral Palsy is my "blessing in disguise".

Even though CP has had its challenges, it has also brought me many happy memories and has allowed me to appreciate the smaller things in life.  It has allowed me to share stories and make friends with people whom I may not have met otherwise.  These stories which I have shared, help me keep my head up high and allow me to share them with even more people, who share the stories with people they know, thus creating a never ending chain of friendship and prosperity.

So when you are in a dark place remember this. Remember, that you have something that makes you a stronger person in life.  Remember, that you have something that has hopefully made you appreciate the value of strength and will to accomplish any task that you have set out to achieve.  Above all, remember that you are not alone with this in life and you have many friends from all over the globe who know what you are going through.

We are the ones who have been born with a disability that brings out characteristics in life that some people spend their whole life trying to find.  This is your gift, your curse, and your blessing in disguise.  Now it is up to you as a person, to decide how you are going to use it in life.



Sunday, August 29, 2010

Finding Good in any Situation

Usually when Friday morning comes along I have a morning routine.  I'll wake up to the heavenly smell of fresh brewed coffee and a warm greeting from my mother.  I'll sit down, sip my coffee, and read about what's going on in the world.

Throughout my entire life I have always been a morning person because I've always had the fear that something exciting would happen in the world, and I would miss it because I was sleeping.  For me, Friday mornings are what I cherish the most.  This is because it gives me the opportunity to spend some quality time with my mom.

My mom and I will talk about movies, the news, school, funny moments, and so much more.  If you sat down and wrote a list of all the topics you can discuss we probably have discussed it at one point or another.  These are the moments that I will always look back on far after my mom has passed.

However, this past Friday morning is one morning that will be at the top of my collection.  When I walked downstairs at 9am my mom immediately gave me a hug and said that "I was the greatest kid in the world."  I responded by telling her that every mother thinks that about their kid.

She smiled a little and said that "everything the doctors said I wouldn't accomplish, I did with flying colors."  This opened the door for a great conversation of all the memories we shared dealing with Cerebral Palsy over the years.  we talked about both the good times and the bad. I say good because it allowed me to reflect on  the person CP has allowed me to be.

We talked about how I used to struggle with braces on my legs and how I used to have to go to therapy while others were playing ball in the park.  However, if it wasn't for therapy, I would have never have met my therapist Bob Zalinski who has been my therapist and friend for 14 years.

We continued to discuss the times when I was made fun of as a little kid because people misunderstood why I walked a little differently then the other kids.  However, if it wasn't for this, I may not have known one of my best friends Justin Hunter who always stuck up for me while this was going on.

We even discussed how CP allows you to appreciate a simple but kind gesture such as holding the door for someone when you see them struggling.  I can go on-and-on because when we were finally finished and I looked at the clock it was 1pm and I wasn't even dressed for the day!  The point I am trying to make though is that if you look hard enough you can find good in any situation.  This includes Cerebral Palsy.


So when nothing seems to be going right and you are in that dark place try finding the good rather then the bad  even if it is the worst thing you have ever encountered. I would like to take credit for that advice but I think my mom deserves the credit on that one!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Finding the right person

Their are certain aspects in life that people feel uncomfortable discussing.  During my 19 years of life I have discussed many uncomfortable topics dealing with my disability.  Some topics include having trouble cutting my finger nails, being afraid to go out with friends because you cannot cut your food, or not going on class field trips to Six Flags because you can't handle all of the walking.

Keep in mind I do not feel regret for any of these scenarios I have just mentioned.  In fact, they give me insight on whether I can get get knocked down and still keep rising to my feet and go the distance.  However, I have heard stories recently on facebook about people having trouble maintaining relationships with a disability.

This scenario believe it or not, is  tougher for me to discuss then the three scenarios I have mentioned above.  Most of the comments deal with high school students trying to maintain a girlfriend who will accept them for their disability. In respect to privacy I will not mention any specific names. However, if you are reading this here is my best advice that I can give you.

First, never let your disability control who you really are as a person.  If a guy or a girl looks down on you because of your CP then they have a lot to learn as a person.  Do your best to stay calm, because this is your opportunity to help one more person understand what it is like to live with Cerebral Palsy.  Most of the time looks can be deceiving.  The person just may not understand what you are going through.

Next be confident about yourself.  Let the person whom you have feelings for know, that your disability is only one aspect of your life and it is not the only aspect of your life.  Tell them everything, even if it embarrasses you.  If the person truly care for you then they will understand and be able to look beyond the exterior aspects of your life.

Finally, if all else fails move on and surround yourself with people who truly care for you.  If he/she doesn't accept you for who you really are then they are not worth your time.  At times this will seem hard because you still have feelings for that particular person. However, eventually you will be able to move on and find someone even better.

When you are feeling upset try  talking to a good friend. I was going through this very problem when the oil spill happened in the Gulf of Mexico.  I was very upset because my then girlfriend had just broken up with me and it seemed like nothing was going right that day.

However, a good friend of mine Lauren Antal told me something that cheered me up.  She told me an old saying but added a twist.  Lauren said that "their are plenty of fish in the sea, but hurry up and grab them before the oil does."  I thought that was funny.  Remember this final thought.  Do not overlook the obvious.  The right person may be staring you right in the face, and you just don't see it.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Living with Cerebral Palsy and Fighting the Incurable - My Story"

Cerebral Palsy like every disability has its challenges.  The stiff muscles during the day, the tremors which make it almost a chore to brush your teeth, and shaving well... lets not even go there.  This is a journey that has had its struggles, its cases of depression, and yes, even its shed of tears.

Some of what i have experienced has been some of my worst experiences of my life.  However, if it were not for these experiences I would not have memories in which I will never forget.  My name is Matthew Powell and I have Cerebral Palsy.

While I go about my day-to-day activities I will often hear the question, "Why do you limp?"  This is not a question that drives me away, nor is it a question that insults me.  In fact, I embrace these questions because it brings about awareness for this incurable condition.  I would tell the person that I have Cerebral Palsy, which is a disability that is caused by not gaining enough oxygen to your brain.  It can effect a person physically, mentally, or you can have a combination of both symptoms.

immediately, a look of concern and bewilderment goes across the person's  face.  They will often times say I'm sorry to hear that.  I will often respond with a quick smile an say to them that "every day you spend feeling sorry for yourself is a day wasted."  This is not to say that I have never had cases of depression.  In fact, it's quite the contrary.  But first lets go back to the beginning.

I was born on December 20, 1990 three months before my due date.  I only weighed 2lbs and I was hooked up to all different kinds of monitors and respirators.  While most parents experience the joy of holding the miracle they have just created in their arms, my parents had to hold their breath in a waiting room where the doctors said I wouldn't even make it through the night.

69 days later I was finally able to spend a night in my own home.  However, I was still experiencing symptoms in which a normal healthy baby doesn't exhibit.  I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy in 1992.  My mother devastated took me to countless doctors and specialists who told her I would never read, write, or go to regular school.

My mom told me that not only will I complete these tasks; I will excel at them.  To this day I can still see the tears in her eyes when she tells me this story, which shows me the ultimate love a parent, can have for their child.  I have a countless number of people who make me the person who I am today.  If I mentioned all of them this story would be infinite.  These people are people whom I consider my guardian angels.

After 2 surgeries and countless therapy to keep my muscles loose, her I am.  For awhile after I graduated high school, I was in a lot of pain and I felt like this disability was bringing me down.  But then I remembered what my best friend Justin Hunter once told me, something that will last me a lifetime.  "People will only hold you as high as you hold yourself."

In May of 2009 I created a group on facebook called "Living with Cerebral Palsy and Fighting the Incurable."  This was a group created for anyone who has CP, knows someone with CP, or supports the fight for a cure.  It is a group that spreads and believes in optimism.

Our optimism comes from each other.  This group and the stories I hear from people all over the world are what keep me going.  I have made countless friends who help me deal with these everyday challenges.  Whether it is Karl Cremen, who shared the story about his son Oscar calling him daddy for the first time using technology, which helps him communicate with others.

Or Tom Samson from Scranton PA who has joined the group to help his best friend deal with CP, and lets not forget John Phistner, from Dunkirk Illinois who has helped me organize this group in hope to someday find a cure for his daughter.  We are 730 members strong, and still growing.

We each travel our own journey but together we know that nothing is impossible!  This is my journey in which I have traveled for 19 years.  It is one journey among thousands.  But with your help, if we keep spreading awareness combined with optimism, I along with many others can reach my destination before another 19 years pass.