Sometimes, the person you don't like the most can become a cherished friend in the most unlikely place. I really did not like Bob Zielinski.
It was the summer of 1995. I was 4 years old without a care in the world, ready to take my first big step into kindergarten.
Hours before my first class I met Bob who introduced himself as my new physical therapist, who would work with me every morning for an hour. Being a little kid and not caring who he was, I ignored him and was more concerned about missing snack time. When 8 am came around the next day, Bob was true to his word and called me out of class. He took me into the Special Ed Department and started showing me different exercises.
At that hour, all I could think about was my bed. I remember thinking to myself why is this guy who I don't even know, putting me through all of this torture? At this point, I was thinking of how I could make this guy's life a living hell.
From then on, the anti-version of myself exploded every morning. I would run away from Bob and make him chase me all over the building thinking; this guy will eventually give up. He would find me in the bathrooms, in the gym, hiding under a desk, and anywhere else I could hide. If the doors of the school weren't locked I would of hid outside.
No matter how long it took Bob would always find me and take me back into that dreaded room. But I wouldn't stop there. One morning Bob showed me an exercise where I had to stand on one foot to improve my balance. Every time he would show me I would just stand there and watch, refusing to give up my pride. I can still remember him telling me the words "I'm only here to help you." Bob continued to show up each day and I continued my daily routine of being a wise guy. One morning Bob begged me to at least give it a try.
Seeing how persistent this man was, I eventually decided to give him a shot. I went to that room with a positive attitude and was ready to put in some hard work. Day after day I tried standing on one foot to improve my balance and each day I would only last about 2 seconds before crashing to the ground. The funny thing was, it didn't feel like therapy. While we were exercising Bob and I chatted about our favorite movies, restaurants, and how school was going. It put my mind at ease and allowed me to relax while I was doing my therapy.
One morning in particular changed the course of our relationship forever. I decided to conform and go right to the Special Ed Department. Again, I stood on one foot and would fall over within 2 seconds. I felt like I was never going to get past those 2 measly seconds. But then, Bob told me "I can do anything I set my mind to." That morning I was able to stand on one foot for 30 seconds before falling. We laughed, cheered and were throwing each other high fives. I think at that very moment Bob and I became friends for life.
Our therapy sessions would go by so fast that I was wishing we had more time together. Bob's been with me throughout my entire school career, almost like he was going to school for a second time. I remember seeing Bob so much even the faculty had mistaken him once for my dad.
He's seen me at my worst when I used to walk on my toes, with a hunched back, and a hand that was clenched so tight that i could barely open it. He's seen me through two surgeries and helped to overcome many physical obstacles I've dealt with throughout my life.
Above all, Bob's been the one true friend who in the beginning, I never wanted to see. In fact, I just did the math and realized he's been with me for about a third of my life. Perhaps the next time i go to therapy I'll bring him a cake.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A True Optimist
As most of you already know I call myself "The CP Optimist."Dictionary.com defines an optimist as "the tendency to see and expect the best in all things." Even though optimism is my nature it does not mean that I never get doses of harsh realities.
You see, to be perfectly honest, I have been disappointed in myself during the past few days. I've had sharp pain in my legs, troubles sleeping, and yes, even depressing tendencies. I felt like I needed to clear my head and possibly take the time to analyze who I really am as a person.
I felt all alone and I felt like such a hypocrite for feeling this way. The more and more I thought about it, the worse and worse I felt. It was like trying to climb an impossible mountain, fearing that I would never reach the top.
I knew deep inside that their was only one person who could help me get there. And today that finally happened. As I was walking through the LCCC campus I passed my journalism teacher Ed Ackerman.
Ed is one of those teachers who really cares about his students. If you need somebody to talk to, you talk to Ed. Mr. Ackerman also rights a column about optimism and being the person who he is, he immediately sensed that something was bothering me.
I told him about everything I mentioned above, and how I wasn't sure how to shake what I was feeling. Ed smiled and told me "I am not superman. Everyone has a bad day, including a CP Optimist." We told each other we were better people for knowing one another, and shared a quick hug. After I left, I felt refreshed and renewed. It made me realize that I need all of my friends in my life to help keep my optimism going.
I really feel obligated to thank each and every one of you for having so much faith in my columns. Without you, this blog would not exist. After all, we are all in this together and together, we make this work. Last but not least, let me thank the man who helped me reach the top of the mountain. The man who is my teacher, my friend, and a true optimst, Ed Ackerman.
You see, to be perfectly honest, I have been disappointed in myself during the past few days. I've had sharp pain in my legs, troubles sleeping, and yes, even depressing tendencies. I felt like I needed to clear my head and possibly take the time to analyze who I really am as a person.
I felt all alone and I felt like such a hypocrite for feeling this way. The more and more I thought about it, the worse and worse I felt. It was like trying to climb an impossible mountain, fearing that I would never reach the top.
I knew deep inside that their was only one person who could help me get there. And today that finally happened. As I was walking through the LCCC campus I passed my journalism teacher Ed Ackerman.
Ed is one of those teachers who really cares about his students. If you need somebody to talk to, you talk to Ed. Mr. Ackerman also rights a column about optimism and being the person who he is, he immediately sensed that something was bothering me.
I told him about everything I mentioned above, and how I wasn't sure how to shake what I was feeling. Ed smiled and told me "I am not superman. Everyone has a bad day, including a CP Optimist." We told each other we were better people for knowing one another, and shared a quick hug. After I left, I felt refreshed and renewed. It made me realize that I need all of my friends in my life to help keep my optimism going.
I really feel obligated to thank each and every one of you for having so much faith in my columns. Without you, this blog would not exist. After all, we are all in this together and together, we make this work. Last but not least, let me thank the man who helped me reach the top of the mountain. The man who is my teacher, my friend, and a true optimst, Ed Ackerman.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Man who looked Beyond the Mask
It seems like yesterday. In fact, sometimes I forget this time in my life happened almost 7 years ago. I was 13 years old, in 7th grade, and attending St. Mary's school in Avoca, Pa. St. Mary's was one of those small town schools that would be lucky to have 200 kids in the whole building.
It was one of those schools where everybody knew everybody and it was a place where you actually felt like you were home. In 7th grade I joined the Jr Varsity basketball team. Although my parents supported me in this decision they were also a little concerned that I would get discouraged because I may receive a lack of playing time.
However, I decided to show up to practice with an open mind and if anything, have a good time with my friends. When the day finally came for my first practice I was both nervous and excited. I was nervous because I didn't want the coach to assume I couldn't play just because of my Cerebral Palsy.
When the coach walked in, he had a calm and cool expression on. He looked us all in the eye and said the words "who is ready to have some fun." It was at this point I realized that this was not an ordinary coach. He introduced himself as coach Joe Blazosek a man who was willing to teach us the rules of the game and have fun while we were learning them.
Coach B never looked at anyone as if they were inferior and he always made every player feel like they were a true part of the team. I was no different. When coach looked at me he never saw me as a burden. He always treated me as one of the guys and pushed me through the pain of my disability.
When my muscles hurt during practice Coach B would push them to limits even I didn't know possible. When I wanted to give up, Coach B always made me feel like I was more then just a kid with a disability. He would remind me that I was part of a team who cared for one another and would always be there to help me through good times and bad. During a game it wouldn't matter if we were down by 10 points, or up by 50, he would still put me in the game for at least one full quarter.
You see, to him, basketball wasn't just about winning and losing. It was about building character, having fun, and learning how to care for the person along side of you. This man whom I'm speaking of is one of many people throughout my life who showed me that I have potential beyond the so-called "limits" my CP sets.
One game in particular he proved to me forever that this was the case. It was the final game of the season and it so happened to be the last game St Mary's School would ever have. When my dad dropped me off at the gym he told me to"do my best and to work hard." Coach immediately smiled at my dad and told him that "I always do."
Normally right before a big game the team would get pumped by listening to some Rock 107. As we were jamming out coach called me off to the side and told me that he was going to put me in for the entire game. At first, I was reluctant. I didn't want to be the reason why we lost the final game as the St. Mary's Mariners.
Coach smiled and told me that winning is not what's important. What is important is that you go out and give it your all. I ended up scoring 6 points and getting 2 rebounds that night. That would also be the night where I would receive the only points I accumulated for the entire season.
I still don't remember if we won or lost but I do remember what's important. I remember the man who taught me how to hold my head up high, to never give up, and to always strive to reach my fullest potential. Above all, I will always remember the man who looked beyond the mask, Coach Joe Blazosek.
It was one of those schools where everybody knew everybody and it was a place where you actually felt like you were home. In 7th grade I joined the Jr Varsity basketball team. Although my parents supported me in this decision they were also a little concerned that I would get discouraged because I may receive a lack of playing time.
However, I decided to show up to practice with an open mind and if anything, have a good time with my friends. When the day finally came for my first practice I was both nervous and excited. I was nervous because I didn't want the coach to assume I couldn't play just because of my Cerebral Palsy.
When the coach walked in, he had a calm and cool expression on. He looked us all in the eye and said the words "who is ready to have some fun." It was at this point I realized that this was not an ordinary coach. He introduced himself as coach Joe Blazosek a man who was willing to teach us the rules of the game and have fun while we were learning them.
Coach B never looked at anyone as if they were inferior and he always made every player feel like they were a true part of the team. I was no different. When coach looked at me he never saw me as a burden. He always treated me as one of the guys and pushed me through the pain of my disability.
When my muscles hurt during practice Coach B would push them to limits even I didn't know possible. When I wanted to give up, Coach B always made me feel like I was more then just a kid with a disability. He would remind me that I was part of a team who cared for one another and would always be there to help me through good times and bad. During a game it wouldn't matter if we were down by 10 points, or up by 50, he would still put me in the game for at least one full quarter.
You see, to him, basketball wasn't just about winning and losing. It was about building character, having fun, and learning how to care for the person along side of you. This man whom I'm speaking of is one of many people throughout my life who showed me that I have potential beyond the so-called "limits" my CP sets.
One game in particular he proved to me forever that this was the case. It was the final game of the season and it so happened to be the last game St Mary's School would ever have. When my dad dropped me off at the gym he told me to"do my best and to work hard." Coach immediately smiled at my dad and told him that "I always do."
Normally right before a big game the team would get pumped by listening to some Rock 107. As we were jamming out coach called me off to the side and told me that he was going to put me in for the entire game. At first, I was reluctant. I didn't want to be the reason why we lost the final game as the St. Mary's Mariners.
Coach smiled and told me that winning is not what's important. What is important is that you go out and give it your all. I ended up scoring 6 points and getting 2 rebounds that night. That would also be the night where I would receive the only points I accumulated for the entire season.
I still don't remember if we won or lost but I do remember what's important. I remember the man who taught me how to hold my head up high, to never give up, and to always strive to reach my fullest potential. Above all, I will always remember the man who looked beyond the mask, Coach Joe Blazosek.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Smiling can be the perfect Medicine
One night when I was at my friend Ciera's birthday party she told me that she never sees me without a smile on my face. In a column titled "Setting everything Straight' my Journalism professor Ed Ackerman stated that "I was the one person who smiled more then he did." When you have Cerebral Palsy your appearance is everything.
When I use the word appearance I am not talking about a person's physical appearance such as their hair, face, teeth, or what have you. I am talking about a person's mental appearance, such as whether they feel happy or depressed.
According to Dictionary.com a smile is defined as "a pleasant or agreeable appearance, look, or aspect." Often enough, physical pain dealing with CP can be obtained by a person's psychological attitude. I am saying this based on personal experience.
Believe it or not even a "CP Optimist" can have a depressing moment in their life. When I used to wake up depressed I noticed that the pain in my legs and hands would sharply increase and the tremors in my body would be almost unbearable. I also noticed that people would look at me differently.
They felt so sorry for me and would often deflect. And lets be honest with one another, nobody wants to be around someone who is depressed. However, once I changed my attitude I noticed that my symptoms and my relationships had sharply changed. My symptoms improved, the pain was bearable, and suddenly people wanted to be around me.
As you all know by now I call myself "The CP Optimist." however, being an optimist is not a one person job. It all has to do with how you treat yourself and who the friends are that you surround yourself with. That is why I would like to thank all of my friends who read my column old and new. My optimism comes from all of you. Hopefully when you all get to read these columns it allows you to not make the same mistakes I did in life.
So when you are in that depressed state try to remember this column. Because most of the time, a simple smile can be the perfect medicine you need.
When I use the word appearance I am not talking about a person's physical appearance such as their hair, face, teeth, or what have you. I am talking about a person's mental appearance, such as whether they feel happy or depressed.
Believe it or not even a "CP Optimist" can have a depressing moment in their life. When I used to wake up depressed I noticed that the pain in my legs and hands would sharply increase and the tremors in my body would be almost unbearable. I also noticed that people would look at me differently.
They felt so sorry for me and would often deflect. And lets be honest with one another, nobody wants to be around someone who is depressed. However, once I changed my attitude I noticed that my symptoms and my relationships had sharply changed. My symptoms improved, the pain was bearable, and suddenly people wanted to be around me.
As you all know by now I call myself "The CP Optimist." however, being an optimist is not a one person job. It all has to do with how you treat yourself and who the friends are that you surround yourself with. That is why I would like to thank all of my friends who read my column old and new. My optimism comes from all of you. Hopefully when you all get to read these columns it allows you to not make the same mistakes I did in life.
So when you are in that depressed state try to remember this column. Because most of the time, a simple smile can be the perfect medicine you need.
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Blessing in Disguise
One night I was talking to my good friend John Phistner, who is not only a good friend but who is also my partner in "Living with Cerebral Palsy and Fighting the Incurable." He told me that "I am lucky to have so many blessings in my life." At first, I didn't think much of it.
However, one night while I was watching an interview with actor and activist Michael J. Fox who made a similar statement. Michael was asked what his disease had taught him in life. He said (and I am paraphrasing) that his Parkinson's disease had taught him patience and it has allowed him to appreciate things that really matter in life like family, friends, and other people. He continued by saying that he would not wish the disease on anyone; but in a way this disease has been a blessing.
After watching this on TV I started to think about what John had originally said to me. Maybe it was something that I should actually take the time to analyze. So I did. First, I knew I had to look up the definition of what a "blessing" actually is.
According to Webster's Dictionary a blessing is "a means of happiness; that which promotes prosperity and welfare; a beneficent gift." Once I read that definition I thought about what Michael had said about his disease. It was then that I realized that living with Cerebral Palsy is my "blessing in disguise".
Even though CP has had its challenges, it has also brought me many happy memories and has allowed me to appreciate the smaller things in life. It has allowed me to share stories and make friends with people whom I may not have met otherwise. These stories which I have shared, help me keep my head up high and allow me to share them with even more people, who share the stories with people they know, thus creating a never ending chain of friendship and prosperity.
So when you are in a dark place remember this. Remember, that you have something that makes you a stronger person in life. Remember, that you have something that has hopefully made you appreciate the value of strength and will to accomplish any task that you have set out to achieve. Above all, remember that you are not alone with this in life and you have many friends from all over the globe who know what you are going through.
We are the ones who have been born with a disability that brings out characteristics in life that some people spend their whole life trying to find. This is your gift, your curse, and your blessing in disguise. Now it is up to you as a person, to decide how you are going to use it in life.
However, one night while I was watching an interview with actor and activist Michael J. Fox who made a similar statement. Michael was asked what his disease had taught him in life. He said (and I am paraphrasing) that his Parkinson's disease had taught him patience and it has allowed him to appreciate things that really matter in life like family, friends, and other people. He continued by saying that he would not wish the disease on anyone; but in a way this disease has been a blessing.
After watching this on TV I started to think about what John had originally said to me. Maybe it was something that I should actually take the time to analyze. So I did. First, I knew I had to look up the definition of what a "blessing" actually is.
According to Webster's Dictionary a blessing is "a means of happiness; that which promotes prosperity and welfare; a beneficent gift." Once I read that definition I thought about what Michael had said about his disease. It was then that I realized that living with Cerebral Palsy is my "blessing in disguise".
Even though CP has had its challenges, it has also brought me many happy memories and has allowed me to appreciate the smaller things in life. It has allowed me to share stories and make friends with people whom I may not have met otherwise. These stories which I have shared, help me keep my head up high and allow me to share them with even more people, who share the stories with people they know, thus creating a never ending chain of friendship and prosperity.
So when you are in a dark place remember this. Remember, that you have something that makes you a stronger person in life. Remember, that you have something that has hopefully made you appreciate the value of strength and will to accomplish any task that you have set out to achieve. Above all, remember that you are not alone with this in life and you have many friends from all over the globe who know what you are going through.
We are the ones who have been born with a disability that brings out characteristics in life that some people spend their whole life trying to find. This is your gift, your curse, and your blessing in disguise. Now it is up to you as a person, to decide how you are going to use it in life.
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