Marking a milestone

December is a big month in my life. It’s the month I was not supposed to be born in. In fact, it was three months earlier then my due date.

Back in 1990 I only weighed two pounds, which is the size of a stick of butter. I was deformed and my body was frail and weak. Not much was expected of me. My parents not knowing if their little boy would even make it through the night and my mother being so sure that I would.

When I was two I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and I was predicted to never read, write, or go to regular school. It’s ironic that I will be graduating from LCCC and I write for a paper that reaches over 10,000 people. In fact, I’m graduating in December. Go figure.

My condition has had a lot of heartbreaks over the years. The aches and pains, the seizures, surgeries, helplessness, and even tears. However, if I had to do it all over again, I would do it all the same way. It’s allowed me to appreciate things that I may not of appreciated otherwise.

Now that I’m about to mark another milestone in my life all I can think about is, where would I be without the love and compassion by my family and friends? As Michael J. Fox once said “A disease is a journey that brings you one step forward and two steps back.” However, so many people in my life have pushed me to take the steps I’ve needed to succeed.

I love each and every one of these people and I always will. I can never thank you enough for how much you’ve impacted my life. And to my mom all I can say is, I did it.

Being happy with who you really are

Over the past few days I've been having a nice conversation with a girl whose Cerebral Palsy is very similar to my own. I don't really know her but she seems like a great person who's fun to talk to. However, it made me sad when she told me that she's afraid to trust people because she doesn't know if they will accept her for her illness.

In response to that comment I told her that she wasn't alone. Because even those who tend to look on the bright side of things will sometimes get caught in the illusion that things are going horribly wrong. In regards to this person's privacy I will keep her name anonymous. But hopefully, by giving her 10 basic tips based on my own experiences, will help her out.

1. Surround yourself with people who look at you for what you have on the inside rather then surrounding yourself with people who judge you for your physical limitations. People who are afraid to see what you have to offer probably don't have much to offer themselves, so don't let that bother you.

2. If  you go out with friends and feel like your struggling to keep up, don't be afraid to tell them, because if they are truly your friends they will wait for you to catch up.

3. Do not dwell on the things you can't do but rather focus on the things you can do.

4. Try not to get to hung up on finding that special someone. Their are people who have no physical limitations who search all their lives to find their soul mate and trust me, when you do find that right person you will just know, and it will be the best feeling you've ever experienced.

5. If you feel like your world is crashing down know, that it is only temporary and not permanent. Sooner or later, you will get back on top.

6. Be a doer not a quitter. When you fall get up, brush yourself, off, and try again.

7. Find someone who you care about and can tell anything to. More then likely, they will gain more respect for you and your bond will just keep getting stronger. You become each others rock and nothing on this earth can break that special bond you have with that person.

8. Don't be afraid to fail because without failure, you'll never really know what it truly means to succeed.

9. Sometimes it's good to move a little slower in a world that moves way to fast.

10. Remember that Cerebral Palsy is only one aspect of your life and not the entirety of your life. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your disability and not the negative. Trust me, nine times out of ten you can turn a negative into a positive.

I hope these 10 tips helped somewhat and just remember you're never alone. If you need someone to talk to don't hesitate to e-mail me at cpawareness1@live.com. Remember, anything is possible!

Sincerely,
Matthew J. Powell (The CP Optimist)

No regrets and living life to its fullest

Last night I received an e-mail from a reader who asked me if I have any regrets about having Cerebral Palsy. In response I told them Lets be honest, at times it does suck. After a long day at school I'll sometimes lay in bed clenching both my legs because of what feels like railroad spikes being driven into them.

I'll wake up in the morning so hunched over that it looks like I'm an eighty year old man at the age of twenty. And lets not forget the tremors I receive throughout my body which make me look like I just showered in my own sweat.

However, it is a part of me and more then likely it always will be, even if researchers ever do find a cure. My Cerebral Palsy has brought me to so many people who I may never have met otherwise. It has allowed me to appreciate the philosophy of show me what you can do and not what you can't do.

Life presents us with all sorts of challenges that can be difficult and hard to deal with. In response, we can either do one of two things. We can shut ourselves out from the people we care about and say I'm not going to make it.

Or we can recognize the fact that even though we might not have been given the best hand we are going to try our best to be a winner in the game of life. Sometimes, you will lose and you will fail. But that's only natural. But what you cannot do is be afraid to fail.

Over the past three months I can feel my muscles starting to tighten. The pain at times, caused me to question my optimistic nature and  try to push away the people I care about the most. I thought my disability was causing me to fail. But on the contrary, it was my attitude towards my disability that was causing me to fail.

We must remember that in all dark times there will always be light  at the end of the tunnel. For me, my light has been my family and my friends. I regret nothing of who I am and if I had a chance to live my life any other way, I would do it the same all over again. I am truly blessed.

-This article is dedicated to the people who show me the light every day. My parents, Lizz Raffa, Meaghan Goode, Rob Macario, Josh Batch, and Emil Ishley.

Today's History Tomorrow's a Mystery

Life is like a time bomb. It could blow at any minute, any second, and it seems like there is nothing you can do to stop it. I was recently in that situation and when I thought I had nothing left I tried doing the unthinkable. But that's because I wasn't thinking.

Life is a game that hits us with challenges that seem impossible. they make us upset, bring us down, and more often then not, a person won't be able to complete the task at hand.

But does that mean you give up and throw everything away? Absolutely not! Things happen that are not our fault. You can do everything right down to the tee and life will throw a punch that knocks us to the ground.

But the person who I know, who is my best friend, and who I love with all my heart is far from being down for the count. Because she is a person who I have faith in more then anyone. And no matter how impossible things may seem to be she always finds a way to make that impossible situation possible.

Know that when you are upset and crying...I'm crying with you. And the people who care about you will always be there to pick you back up and wipe your tears away. It's not the first time something like this has happened and I guarantee you it certainly won't be the last. But when you're presented with grief you learn from it, you grow from it, and it makes you a stronger person in the end.

Everything happens for a reason Piglet and I know you will find a way to make things better again. You are my hero. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if it wasn't for you. And the people who care about you are there to do the same for you.

The one great thing about life is that every day is a new day and we can dust ourselves off and try again. Just take each day one step at a time. Today's history and tomorrow's a mystery. Keep your chin up piglet...we're all here for you whenever you need us. Love you.

Good things come in two

What was I thinking?! Wait...Scratch that, I wasn't thinking at all. As "The CP Optimist" I always took pride in looking at life with a smile...and people who know me will tell you, I literally smiled all the time. But one day it seemed to all change in the blink of an eye.

Why? Because I'm human and no matter how happy I really am Cerebral Palsy just sucks sometimes, plain and simple. Pain is like a demon. It will suck the life force out of you until you think you've reached the brink of death.

I thought I lost control and at times, questioned whether I would make it or not. However, when you have friends like Lizz Raffa and Meaghan Goode that question just isn't an option. They are my friends. In fact, they are the two best friends anyone could ask for.

They make me realize that pain is temporary, but a true friendship will last forever. Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve these two. I think we are the only three people who always have fun doing nothing.

Maybe, it's because we need nothing but each other. We have have a bond with each other that words can't even describe. Something, that could never be destroyed.

I will always have fights with pain but with Lizz and Meaghan in my corner the fight will be over before it even starts. I seriously don't know what I would do without them!

I would love to go on and on but if I continue, I  think the tears streaming down my cheeks are going to ruin my keyboard. Bottom line is, I love you guys. You are the best two people in my life and you will always have a place in my heart. Thanks for everything! You guys are proof that good things come in two! Love you :)

Mo cushla

It's been awhile since you've heard from me. The evidence is clear from the collection of dust on my keyboard. But the person who I'm writing about tonight certainly, without a doubt, clears every spec of dust. I've written about her before. In fact, you may remember her as my guardian angel.

A guardian angel is defined as a being that is assigned to guide and protect a certain person. Lizz Raffa has done just that. She is the one person who can bring you from the brink of destruction and make a person feel like they are larger then life. She is a person who is always honest and will tell it how it is. She is my best friend who I care for more then she can ever imagine.

But recently my guardian angel has been very confused and she realizes she has to make a tough decision in the game of life. I cannot make the decision for her but I certainly can guide and protect her like she's done for me so many times.

Lizz, I want you to remember that you are my heart. When you cry, I cry with you. When you’re happy, I'm happy. And when you need to make a tough decision realize, I may not be there physically but a piece of me will always be with you.

I will always be there to wipe the tears from your face and I will always carry the lessons you've taught me wherever life leads me. When you fall, I'll be there to catch you. (well, at least be able to by you some chocolate doughnut holes)  You make everyone a better person for being around you and you need to do what's best for Lizz Raffa and nobody else.

The decision's not easy. In fact, no decision worth anything ever is. But you are my hero a girl who not only plans, but WILL make it far in life. Remember there's no wrong decision, just different consequences with each one. The question is, what consequence best suits you? I will never leave you because you are my Mo cushla, which is gaelic for "my darlin, my blood." I know in my heart that you will be ok. But until then, know that I will be there to catch you.

-

The Fighter

 Today's the day! The day where you are ready to bring a piece of yourself into this world. You're so excited you can barely think straight and your heart is going a buck fifty, praying that your newborn miracle will be healthy.

You start thinking to yourself; WOW I'm going to be a parent. I'm going to teach my child how to ride a bike, help them with their homework, and when that big day comes, when I finally have to let go, I will feel pride in knowing that I raised a person who will help shape the world.

Then, in a blink of an eye, you hear a code blue over the NICU intercom and you've just learned that medical personnel have brought your daughter from the brink of death. You see that your child is in shock and needs to be moved immediately to another hospital with more advanced medical equipment. The only problem is, if you move your child, there's a possibility she will never make it alive.

I can imagine how easy it would be to just give up and completely break down. Honestly, I don't know what I would do. However, for the man who I call "The Fighter" giving up is not an option.

You see, "The Fighter" was born in a Christian household and knew that the fate of his daughter was in God's hands. He quickly searched for the nearest chapel and begged God to save his precious daughter. The next morning, he was the first family member to visit her. As "The Fighter" walked up to where his daughter lay, he grasped her right hand and said, "you are my little angel."

Immediately after, his daughter opened her eyes for the first time. That's when "The Fighter" knew that him and his wife were going to be able to eventually bring their daughter home. "The Fighter's" daughter had received damage to her Cerebral Cortex due to lack of Oxygen too the brain and needed to receive blood transfusions to help counteract her seizure disorder.

Two weeks after his daughter's birth "The Fighter's" prayers were answered and he was finally able to take his daughter home. Amazingly, she had no seizures for a little over a year, and could walk with her parents help. Although, shortly after, the seizures had regained control of her body forcing her too only be able to crawl for the next seventeen years.

When "The Fighter" would see his daughter suffer he would suffer too. But he would never forget his promise to keep pushing and help his daughter live a fulfilling life. Her seizure disorder would require numerous medications over the years and she is non-verbal. But "The Fighter" is able to understand what his daughter wants through hand movements and different emotions.

You see, there is more to his daughter then what meets the eye. She is loving, caring, and a great human being. People just need to take a little more time too see it and look at the great person within. Despite her physical pain, she always manages to smile and giggle. "The Fighter's" daughter even managed to attend special ed classes and was able to dance at her prom with her class. She is a true example of how it is possible to beat the odds.

Her Cerebral Palsy has caused her muscle control too diminish over the years. But three decades later, with the help of her parents and a heart that's bigger then life itself, she keeps going. As far as "The Fighter" is concerned, they are going the distance!